Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
