He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
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The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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