I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
