from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
