There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
