The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
