Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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