Walk of Shame. In a state park.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
