I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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