So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
