But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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