the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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