you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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