we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How external is "for external use only"?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
