I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
