I feel like abortions should bother me more
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
