So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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