Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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