I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
