it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He felt like a one man threesome
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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