she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
