Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
