my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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