i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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