I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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