She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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