why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
