you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think people are normalizing furries
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
