So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
