we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
