just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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