Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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