I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
