Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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