just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
