i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
