Is it because I queefed?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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