So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
