I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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