I just cut my nipple shaving
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
