the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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