He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize