My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
