hotel room ftw
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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