Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
