he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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