I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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