i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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