The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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