Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
