We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize