Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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