I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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