Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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