the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds