Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.