I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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