Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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