Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
