why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
