i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
