so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
