I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize