i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
