At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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