I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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