how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.