she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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