Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (506) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?

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  (513): Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude? http://tfl.nu/2xw8
  Replies (13) Good night (429) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.

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  (636): I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks. http://tfl.nu/gzvr
  Replies (40) Good night (925) Bad night (4347) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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  (571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp
  Replies (48) Good night (5093) Bad night (1606) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (12318) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.

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  (612): I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills. http://tfl.nu/7aj5
  Replies (52) Good night (6367) Bad night (3368) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.

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  (215): Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing. http://tfl.nu/dzgt
  Replies (48) Good night (12520) Bad night (1426) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (3906) Bad night (900)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...

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  (713): Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation... http://tfl.nu/5jek
  Replies (8) Good night (2119) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.

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  (865): Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame. http://tfl.nu/9g9e
  Replies (6) Good night (2212) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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  (804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy
  Replies (13) Good night (1628) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

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  (978): girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good. http://tfl.nu/jyv0
  Replies (4) Good night (1567) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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  (336): Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/9t3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2101) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship

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  (717): Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship http://tfl.nu/uea0
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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  (405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt

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