I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
