You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you had me at cake vodka
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now