Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway