I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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