Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
